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NEW YORK—Moving in formation across the first-base line as terrified players scrambled into the dugout, federal troops reportedly tear-gassed the... View in browser https://theonion.cmail19.com/t/t-e-phjtiky-acuytuth-iy/ America’s finest news source [http://www.theonion.com/] [endif]--> Video [https://theonion.com/c/video] Politics [http://www.theonion.com/section/politics/] Sports [http://www.theonion.com/section/sports/] Local [http://www.theonion.com/section/local/] Business [http://www.theonion.com/section/business] Entertainment [http://www.theonion.com/section/entertainment/] Federal Troops Tear-Gas Yankees Off Field So Trump Can Throw Out First Pitch [https://sports.theonion.com/federal-troops-tear-gas-yankees-off-field-so-trump-can-1844571417?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] NEW YORK—Moving in formation across the first-base line as terrified players scrambled into the dugout, federal troops reportedly tear-gassed the New York Yankees off the field Friday so President Donald Trump could throw out the first pitch before their opening home game. Sources confirmed that minutes before their contest against... New Jayson Tatum Free Throw Ritual Involves Blinking ‘Help Us’ In Morse Code [https://sports.theonion.com/new-jayson-tatum-free-throw-ritual-involves-blinking-h-1844570952?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] Barack Obama Storms Out Of Michelle Obama Podcast Interview After Questions About Administration’s Drone Use [https://www.theonion.com/barack-obama-storms-out-of-michelle-obama-podcast-inter-1844574468?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] ] Voting Rights Lawsuits That Could Affect The 2020 Election [https://www.theonion.com/voting-rights-lawsuits-that-could-affect-the-2020-elect-1844574146?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] ‘What, You Told Me To Get Rid Of It,’ Shouts Dad As Entire Family Cries Watching Him Bludgeon Possum With Shovel [https://local.theonion.com/what-you-told-me-to-get-rid-of-it-shouts-dad-as-ent-1844572601?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] Onion Politics MORE POLITICAL COVERAGE [http://www.theonion.com/section/politics/] News in Brief Hacky Pop-Up Book’s Narrative Tension Pretty Dependent On Lifting Colored Flaps [https://local.theonion.com/hacky-pop-up-book-s-narrative-tension-pretty-dependent-1844572138?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] News in Brief Federal Agents Drive 3 Hours Away From Portland Before Realizing Abducted Protester Still In Backseat [https://www.theonion.com/federal-agents-drive-3-hours-away-from-portland-before-1844571572?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] News Real-Life ‘Nintendogs’? This Furry 4-Legged Creature Loves To Snuggle And Play [https://ogn.theonion.com/real-life-nintendogs-this-furry-4-legged-creature-lo-1844571355?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] 5 Things To Know About Wearing Masks [https://www.theonion.com/5-things-to-know-about-wearing-masks-1844555896?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] SHARE THIS WITH FRIENDS OR SPAM YOUR ENEMIES POPULAR VIDEOS SEE ALL [https://theonion.com/c/video] 5 Things To Know About Taylor Swift’s ‘Folklore’ [https://www.theonion.com/5-things-to-know-about-taylor-swift-s-folklore-1844548136?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] How Schools Plan To Reopen During Coronavirus Pandemic [https://www.theonion.com/how-schools-plan-to-reopen-during-coronavirus-pandemic-1844529820?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] 5 Common Workout Mistakes [https://www.theonion.com/5-common-workout-mistakes-1844486260?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] AMERICAN VOICES SEE ALL [http://www.theonion.com/features/american-voices] Garth Brooks Withdraws Self From Top Country Music Association Award [https://www.theonion.com/garth-brooks-withdraws-self-from-top-country-music-asso-1844575652?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] New Blood Test Could Diagnose Alzheimer’s In Dementia Patients [https://www.theonion.com/new-blood-test-could-diagnose-alzheimer-s-in-dementia-p-1844568894?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email] STAY CONNECTED FOR EVEN MORE About Us [http://www.theonion.com/about/] | Contact Us [http://www.theonion.com/contact/] | Privacy Policy [http://www.theonion.com/privacy/] | Unsubscribe https://theonion.cmail19.com/t/t-u-phjtiky-acuytuth-ij/ DON’T FORGET ABOUT OUR OTHER SITES The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.

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