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** “Am I A Narcissist?!”
------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Whitney,
Welcome to Day 12 of your New Life.

This is a really important email for many people. I promise you I went through this stage too, after I took responsibility for my own wounds, and when I realised I was the generative source of my own experience.

I hit a point where I wondered, “Oh my god, am I a narcissist?!”

The truth was, like it is for so many of us, whilst being in narcissistic relationships, when I looked in the mirror I could barely recognise myself. Things came out of my mouth and actions exploded out of me that were not who I thought I was.

In fact there was very little to like about myself; I had become “someone” who I had never wanted to be.

I also realised that when I was younger, there were many unconscious things I did that were pretty hard on people, very selfish things, things that at the time I felt totally justified in doing.

Did this mean I too was a narcissist?

I know you too may have realised that there are in fact many similarities between narcissists and codependents – the feelings of emptiness and internal pain (unhealed Inner Identity wounds), and the trying to gain energy, relief and ‘self’ from the outside.

All of this is unconsciousness, which then leads to the acting out in life from unhealed, underdeveloped Inner Identities. This never goes well; inevitably it always produces actions and choices that aren’t healthy, mature or solid behaviours – especially when put under stress.

I promise you, there are some distinct differences between narcissist and codependents which mean – absolutely 100% you are NOT a narcissist.

In fact, it would be very unlikely that you are committed to this healing journey, and focused on healing your Inner Identity wounds, if you were a narcissist. Because narcissists just won’t do this.

If you are questioning whether you may be the one with all the problems, or if you are the one with N.P.D., this article will allow you to find out the truth.

Am I The Narcissist? (http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/?utm_source=New+Life&utm_campaign=be42036272-Day+12+Am+I+A+Narc+-+16+days+to+your+new+life&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_005709a593-be42036272-409214561)

Or you can watch this video on my YouTube channel. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa75ynfu4WI&utm_source=New+Life&utm_campaign=be42036272-Day+12+Am+I+A+Narc+-+16+days+to+your+new+life&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_005709a593-be42036272-409214561)

I so hope this has helped you.

I want you to know a profound truth about all of us.

We all (codependents and narcissists) have unhealed inner wounds. The absolute truth is this: all maladaptive and less than sterling behaviour comes from wounds and inner pain. Shame is the trying to stuff these wounds back down again and then getting even more sick as a result of not loving ourselves to heal these inner wounds.

I promise you this – if narcissists could lay down their False Selves (the extreme defence mechanism trying to uphold ‘I am perfect and above reproach’) they COULD Heal.

But they don’t …

So, this is the deal – no matter where we have been, what we have done, how shameful and guilty we feel, and how we may have lost so much, and harmed ourselves and hurt others – if, if, IF we decide to heal and become the best, most loving, truthful, authentic and empowered version to ourselves first, and then share that with the world – we are doing what we came here to do.

Evolve …

If we don’t, we just stay unconscious and add to the pain – personally and collectively.

So – there you have it – THAT is the REAL difference. It is a choice of consciousness or not.

Are we really prepared to keep paying the terrible price of NOT raising our consciousness?

Do we want to continue looking in the mirror not knowing WHO we are? Are we prepared to share lives with other people who are reflecting our lack of consciousness back at us – people who we think we know, but DON’T when their mask falls down?

Do we want our True Lives enough to up-level, and work on our consciousness, so that we can be embodying, creating and generating a beingness of AUTHENTIC compassion, truth, love, kindness and support?

Do we realise that these states of beingness have to FIRST be established within ourselves, and the only way we can do that is by letting go; releasing what ‘is not us’ and creating the inner space to embody these states?

If you are ready as Neale Donald Walsh would say … (I adore this expression) “To become the Grandest Version and the Greatest Vision of yourself,” then you know there is work to do.

If you are ready to do this work, and if you haven’t already – please join me in the NARP Community, in order to transform your beingness, and therefore your life.

You can find out how to join the NARP Community here. (http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm?utm_source=New+Life&utm_campaign=be42036272-Day+12+Am+I+A+Narc+-+16+days+to+your+new+life&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_005709a593-be42036272-409214561)

As I say in my Thriver TV episodes, “ … because there is nothing else to do.” The truth is there really isn’t.

Ignorance is not bliss, as we all found out the hard way …

Tomorrow I look forward to having a very important conversation with you about being a parent.

I’m very passionate about this topic – so I can’t wait!

Much Love xo

signature Melanie Tonia Evans
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert, Author, Radio Host

www.melanietoniaevans.com


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New Life Newsletter
17 May, 2019

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